Know Your Colleagues
Learn What's Important To Others

    You could have on-going business dealings with people whom you might never meet.  The more you know about them, the better you can build the relationship, lubricate it and enrich rapport (see "Creativity's Delicate Dance," The Insider, , Sept. 2002).

    Listen for and note information like hobbies, where your colleague lives, where they were born.  Get names of children and spouse.  Then, when you inquire about them, you show you have real interest in them as a human being, not just what they do for you (a human doing).  Most people respond with real appreciation when you express interest in their lives, although a few may become suspicious.  If the latter, back off.

    Don't rush it.  Wait until you've shared a laugh or two before you begin.  Then, casually gather just one piece of information at a time.  You can help them open up by sharing something about yourself to create a social climate where they reciprocate.

    Once you have a few bits of information, go search the Internet.  Check on the kids' schools, your colleague's local community, the websites devoted to her hobbies.  You can also respond to major life events (birth of a child, change in title, illness of a parent), and sincerely inquire about their own feelings.

    Business over the Internet doesn't mean we can ignore the people with whom we're engaged.  It just means we have to use the resources of the Internet in new ways so we can still treat each other as valued people.

This article was originally published in the newsletter, October, 2002
and is available to our subscribers on our website, http://www.net-working.com.